4.5 Championing 1 - Possibilities
When I used to do workshops on managing staff, the first questions I would get would be about difficult people.
No one ever asked this first…
How do I support my top performers better?
And isn’t that interesting? How entrancing and demanding trouble is.
Meanwhile it’s so easy to forget about our top performers. Many times I’ve heard a leader say something like…
“Jeannie? Oh, she’s doing great and thank God for that. She’s the one person I don’t have to worry about. She doesn’t need anything from me.”
The advocacy-stand says, “Reverse this!”
Give your top performers your prime time and attention. Put them first. Build your staff culture around them and what they need.
And they do have needs. Big ones because they’re up to big things. For example…
They need a workplace that’s free of rancor and strife so they can play at the top of their game.
They need to be witnessed.
They need to know they matter to you.
If you’re going to give prime time to your top performers then you have to set limits on anyone who’s causing trouble.
You don’t have endless conversations with them. You don’t chase them in the same old circles again and again. Instead you call the question…
Will you do what it takes to be on our team and make a significant contributions to moving our mission forward?
Calling the question means you’re asking them to make a decision…
To either get with the team or get out.
That’s putting it bluntly, but that’s what it comes down to.
We can ask someone to change their behavior, we can encourage them, but we can’t make them do it. The person has to decide if they want to meet your standards or not.
And…
It’s okay to take a stand for your standards.
It’s not okay for anyone to drag the team down. It’s not okay for anyone to suck the life out of the organization. You don’t have to put up with that.
This may sound like tough-guy stuff, but when you take this stand you’re really being an advocate…
For your top performers.
For your mission.
For yourself.
And for the troublesome staff person, too. Because it’s not good for anyone to be able to get away with bad behavior. So when you put a stop to it, even if they don’t like it, it’s still an advocacy kind of thing to do.
On this page, I’m going to give you examples of…
Conversations with your staff about problems.
And examples of…
Conversations with your staff about possibilities.
The normal thing would be to start with the problems first and spend most of our time there and get to the possibilities just at the end for dessert. But I’m going to do the reverse. I’m going to start with possibilities. And why?
Because even when you’re talking with a staff person about problems…
Possibilities are always the context.
We don’t want people to get lost inside their problems. We want them to be bigger than their problems. Just as we take the advocacy-stand for them, we want them to always be taking the that stand for themselves.
We want them to pay attention to their talents and strengths, which is what opens them to their possibilities.
Staying focused on possibilities helps keep people from sinking into self-blame or shame when they are talking about problems.
Something else to consider. If you always start your relationship with a staff person by focusing on talents, strengths, possibilities, and their best ambitions for themselves and their work, then if you have to have a conversation about problems later on…
You’ve already established a solid relationship of advocacy.
So what does it mean to champion someone?
You’re on their side.
You see their limitations, but more importantly, you see the best in them.
You encourage them to pursue that best.
You put your whole heart into advocating for them until they can put their whole heart into advocating for themselves.
Opening up possibilities
Here’s an example of a conversation that’s an easy-going cruise in search of possibilities.
Notice how Kimi, the ED, stays inside her mood of quiet advocacy from beginning to end.
Kimi: How’s it going with your team?
Dell: I love them. And we just keep doing better and better work. I’m so happy in this job. This is where I belong.
Kimi: I’m really glad to hear that because I’m hoping you stay here for the long term. I was telling two of my friends last night how thankful I am for you.
Dell: Wow.
Kimi: May I ask you this? What’s next for you here?
Dell: I haven’t really thought about that.
Kimi: I’m just thinking about how far you’ve come since you became department head.
Dell: Yes, well I like learning new things.
Kimi: What would you like to learn next? What would you enjoy learning that would also make you stronger in your position?
Dell: Oh, if that’s the question then I’d say public speaking.
Kimi: Tell me about that.
Dell: I feel at home with a small group of people who I work closely with every day. I think that’s one of my strengths.
Kimi: Yes, I see that. I’d even say you’ve developed a kind of intimacy and mutual support with your team that’s unusual in the workplace. Your staff look out for each other. You even finish each other’s sentences.
Dell: That’s true. We went out last night to hear a new band and were having so much fun, people were surprised to find out we were a work team rather than a group of old friends.
So I’m happy with how I’m doing here in the office, but it’s when I go out in the world that my shyness kicks in. I’d like to do something about that.
Kimi: What thoughts have you had about this so far?
Dell: I haven’t thought about it, except that I know I want to stop being so shy because it holds me back.
Kimi: How?
Dell: I think I could get more support for my program if I were out talking with people a lot more. I totally believe that if people knew the behind-the-scenes story of what we do every day, they’d want to volunteer with us and maybe write checks. I feel restless. I want a wider world for this work.
Kimi: Cool. Let’s make that happen.
Dell: Okay. How?
Kimi: Well, let’s look at public speaking, but I’m hearing that your goal is also to develop a public presence.
Dell: Yes, that’s true.
Kimi: So let’s play with ideas.
Dell: I know about Toastmasters. Maybe I could try that.
Kimi: I have a friend, Gayle, who’s done Toastmasters. Want to talk with her about it’s like?
Dell: Definitely.
Kimi: Okay, I’ll get you her number. And then there’s Speaking Circles which is about authentic speaking. Staying true to yourself rather than putting on a show. I can get you their website, if you want.
Dell: Yes, I like the sound of that.
Kimi: And then I know an actress, Nancy, who does public speaking training for authors, MDs, scientists, pretty much anyone. If you want some one-on-one work with her I could give you $400 from the training budget.
Dell: That sounds a little scary.
Kimi: Yes, it’s intense, it’s personal, but she’s a sweetheart and really good at what she does. And you’re dedicated to developing yourself, so I want you to have the best.
Dell: How about if I try it once and then decide?
Kimi: Perfect. Now what else? What are you going to talk about?
Dell: All the things that happen with the kids in the classroom every day.
Kimi: You know how I’m intense about collecting success stories from all three of our departments?
Dell: Yes.
Kimi: How about if you take that over for your department? I find it very helpful to be the one who collects the stories and writes them up. Then when I go out to talk with funders or the public, they’re on the tip of my tongue and I have lots of them.
At this point no one can ask me a question I don’t have a story for. I’m a bit shy about public speaking myself and I find this preparation helps a lot.
Dell: I love writing, so that sounds good to me.
Kimi: Okay, then as of now you’re in charge of collecting all the stories from your department. And what about blogging? You could write up stories, talk about what they mean to you, add in quotes from your staff.
Dell: Yes, I’d enjoy that. People tell me my writing voice is friendly. Warm and playful. Maybe if I write in that voice 3 or 4 times a week it would be more likely to show up for me when I do speaking.
Kimi: Once you’ve got that going and are comfy with it, let me know, and then here’s something we can do if you like. I get more speaking requests than I can handle, especially service clubs like Rotary and the Lionesses. I could hand those off to you. You could go practice. They’re very friendly audiences.
Dell: Okay, when I’m ready I’ll tell you. But how do I fit this into my schedule?
Kimi: I consider this to be of top importance. First, because I want this to be a place where staff grow and develop. Second, because if you were out speaking, maybe getting on radio and TV, I can easily see you bringing in volunteers and donations. So it would be a win for the organization, too.
Let’s go through your schedule and see what you can hand off to your staff. Give them a chance to grow as you grow.
Dell: Okay. I think they’ll be up for it.
Kimi: And I’d be glad to make a trade with you. You’re handling the stories from your department and that saves me time. Pretty soon I might be handing off some of our priority speaking engagements to you. That means you’re going to save me a bunch of time. What do you have that I could help with?
Dell: What comes to mind is that I haven’t planned the next three inservices for my staff. Those always take me a lot of time because I want them to be excellent. It would be great if you could handle those while I go through this transition.
Kimi: Deal. Tell me what your staff is working on in terms of their development and I’ll plan the sessions.
Dell: Thanks. I’m a little bit anxious about all this, but a lot jazzed. I think once I get started, this plan is going to be a lot of fun.
Now, does this sound too sweet? Too easy?
To some people it does. Especially if they’re used to personnel management being a struggle. But please remember, when you use the advocacy-stand to create an advocacy culture, life gets a whole lot sweeter for everyone.
You might have noticed that in this conversation…
Kimi didn’t have to do anything tricky or cagey or strategic or difficult.
That’s because she and Dell were in synch. Of course she was paying close attention to Dell, but her purpose was simply to support Dell in getting her needs met so she could continue to grow and develop.
Kimi brought her caring and her presence to the conversation. That’s all she needed. It was smooth sailing from there.
Adriana
Next, Winston, the ED, is talking with Adriana about a very big decision. But she’s co-leading the conversation. They’re working this through together. Winston is advocating for her to make a real decision. And she’s with him on that. They’re very much on the same team here.
Adriana: Hey, Winston, do you have time to talk?
Winston: Yes, I do. In fact, I was just about to come looking for you.
Adriana: Why’s that?
Winston: We were scheduled to send out the job announcement this morning, you know the one, director of the new peer coaching program. But when I proofed it again and handed it back to Terri, I heard myself tell her, “Hold off on this for a bit.”
Adrianna: Why did you do that?
Winston: Because this job has your name written all over it. Would you be willing to talk about it?
Adriana: Actually I would. Last night while I washing the dishes, my grandmother said to me, “What’s wrong, Sweetie? Oh, it’s about that job, isn’t it?” She reads me better than I read myself.
My heart has telling me to go for it. It’s my dream job. But my brain keeps coming up with objections. I want to apply but only if I know I can do it. It would kill me to screw up the program for those kids.
So can we have a due-diligence conversation?
Winston: Absolutely. Let’s make a deal. On my side, I won’t try to talk you into the job. I think it matters that you make a real decision for yourself.
And on your side, how about if you don’t be modest. Let’s just take a really accurate look at your strengths and see if they match up with the job or not, okay?
Adriana: I think I can do that.
Winston: So should we start with what you love about the job or with the objections?
Adriana: The objections are pressing on me. Let’s start there.
Winston: Okay, first one.
Adriana: I’m young. I’m 25. I’ve never supervised anyone before. My sister is in HR at a big corporation downtown and she’s always complaining about how hard it is, how crazy and awful people can be. I told her it’s different here. But she shook her head and said, “People are people,” and then wouldn’t talk with me about it anymore.
It really is different here, isn’t it? Tell me I’m not just imagining that.
Winston: Let’s look at the facts. In the five years you’ve been here, what have you seen?
Adriana: This is a very happy place to work. My friend Flavia told me she’d be bored here. No personality battles to break up the day. I told her our work is so great that it keeps us cooking. We don’t need any extra entertainments.
Winston: How many firings have we had?
Adriana: Just that one.
Winston: And what was it like?
Adriana: Quick and clean. We were all relieved to see him go because he was messing things up with the teens.
Winston: So…
Adriana: We are different. But why?
Winston: Because we have a system for hiring people who are a match for us and a system for supporting people once we hire them. Supervision here is a pleasure.
Adriana: Okay, so I would need to get a deeper understanding of how that system works, so I can do my part in it, but this sounds good. One thing I won’t do is spend my days fighting with people like my sister does.
Winston: As long as I’m here that’ll never happen.
Adriana: Good. I’m settled on that one. Next objection: We’re going to hire two experienced therapists who are also coaches to back up our teen peer coaches in each of our two high schools. I’m expecting that they will be a good bit older than me, maybe by ten years or even twenty or more.
Won’t they resent being supervised by someone as young and inexperienced as me? I’m worried they will just blow me off and do their own thing and then the team won’t be a team.
Winston: Let’s say one of the therapists is condescending to the teen coaches and is putting them down. Maybe calling them stupid when they make a mistake. How would you react?
Adriana: Well, she can’t do that! That’s a violation of everything we stand for. That’s harmful to the kids and that’s not okay. There’s nothing about that kind of behavior that’s okay. She’s going to have to fix that immediately or she’s out of here.
Winston: I just saw you take a stand for the kids and the program. That’s something I want in a director. Something I have to have. And you’ve got it in spades. Did you see yourself do that? Remember, no modesty, accuracy.
Adriana: Okay, I saw it. I’m intense when it comes to the teens.
Winston: That’s something I’ve seen in you for five years now. You know, I can always count on you. You always give 100%. You’re super responsible to the mission. That’s something else that’s a must-have for this position.
Adriana: Okay, we’ll check that off. But what about the age thing?
Winston: What’s our stand on age?
Adriana: I’ve never seen anything written on that.
Winston No, but how do we behave when it comes to age?
Adriana: You hired me when I was just turning 20. I was really surprised because I had zero experience then.
Winston: Except you had life experience and quality of character. That’s what I went with and you’ve proven me right.
What about the teens you work with? Do any of them ever outshine the adults around them?
Adriana: Ohmigod, yes! The first six who I was planning to recommend to you for the peer coaching positions are dynamite. So much maturity. I know adults much older who don’t have half what these kids have.
Winston: So age…
Adriana: Is not the determining factor for us. And that make sense since we’re Youth Advocates. Of course we wouldn’t discriminate based on age. Or get hung up on it. In fact, wouldn’t it be fair to say that we’re proactive about age? We help young people discover their strengths. We help them break through any limiting ideas they have about being young.
Winston: That’s exactly right.
Adriana: So I guess I’d better not discriminate against myself based on age, either.
Winston: Cool. Okay, now imagine a therapist working for you who says, “You’re not really my boss. You can’t tell me what to do. You’re too young.” How do you respond?
Adriana: I’d say, “You’re too-missing-the-point, Sweetie.” Well, I wouldn’t say that. I’d be more professional.
Winston: Good, but I like the attitude.
Adriana: If someone said something like that she would obviously be a mismatch for us. So how could we check this out during the hiring process?
Winston: What would you need to ask and what would you need to hear in order to feel solid about hiring a therapist?
Adriana: I’d want to have a forthright conversation about age. I’d want her to convince us that she would not only put up with being supervised by someone as young as me, but she’d look forward to it. I’d want us to do due diligence on the age issue. Then I could put my fears to rest.
Winston: So as of now I’m making it official policy that an in-depth conversation about age is part of the interview process.
Adriana: Cool.
Winston: One more thing. Tell me about the work you’re doing with the teens now. When things get tough then what? When there’s a kid other staff are failing with what happens?
Adriana: I step in.
Winston: And is that a problem for you?
Adriana: No, I love it.
Winston: It doesn’t drag you down?
Adriana: No, it fires me up.
Winston: Why?
Adriana: I like the adventure of it. I like getting to ramp up to my very best. I like having to use all my moxie and all my smarts. It’s bracing. And then you get the breakthrough, and suddenly this kid who’s been all about trouble suddenly sees that he’s creative and caring and amazing.
Winston: Your face is all lit up as you’re talking about this.
Adriana: I guess it would be a good thing to have the person who loves taking on the toughest challenges be the one in the top spot of the program.
Winston: Yes, it would. And how could you bring that talent over to supervising adults?
Adriana: Oh, I hadn’t thought about that. The adults can’t be tougher than the kids. And as director I get to call the shots, like requiring 100% responsibility from them.
Winston: Why not 95%. Aren’t you asking too much?
Adriana: No, if they’re working with my teens, I’d want 100%. Not that they couldn’t make mistakes, but I’d want to see them putting their whole heart into the work.
Winston: Okay, it would be your department. I’d back you up on that.
Adriana: So the age thing is checked off. One final item, I don’t know what I don’t know. Are there things about this job that might blindside me?
Winston: Sure, I think you can count on surprises. But think back to the work we did as a committee to design this program and test it out. Lots of ups and downs. And you…
Adriana: I loved every minute of it.
Winston: We had some big problems to solve.
Adriana: But we solved them. And it felt great.
Winston: So what if you could direct the program with the same spirit you had during the design phase?
Adriana: Oh, I get it. I can’t see why I couldn’t do that.
Winston: And think back over this conversation we’re in right now. We’ve been problem solving some serious objections and…
Adriana: Working them through! Yes, we do good together!
Winston: So here’s something I want to say to you. Do you understand that you wouldn’t be doing this alone?
Adriana: No. I’ve been thinking that a director would have to handle everything herself. Especially because you’re so busy. I wouldn’t want to be coming to you with stuff all the time and bothering you.
Winston: The thing is I like working closely with my directors. And I’m a big fan of yours and I’d enjoy working with you in the same way. This peer program is dear to my heart. It’s taken two years to get the funders to back us on it and I really want it to be a success. I’ll be with you every step of the way.
Adriana: Now that you’ve said that, I realize that’s what I most needed to hear. Now I’m okay.
Winston: Then let’s make this official. Adriana, I’m offering you the position of director of the Peer Coaching Project. Will you take it?
Adriana: Yes! And I promise you I’ll give it everything I’ve got.
Winston: I know you will. So, how does it feel being the director, Director?
Adriana: It takes my breath away. I feel like I’m just at the top of the first hill on a roller coaster.
Winston: And?
Adriana: I love roller coasters!
Winston could have pep-talked Adriana into the job: You’re great I know you can do it. I believe in you. You just have to believe in yourself. That kind of thing.
But look how this conversation took their working relationship to a much deeper place. He took an advocacy-stand. He wanted her to make a real decision, a thoughtful decision, and the one that was right for her. She joined him in that stand, and now they’re off to a great start with the new program.
Amber
In this next situation, the ED uses championing to happily prevent any need for correction. But there’s definitely push to this conversation because Amber, the new development director, has something to push through.
Camila: Amber, you’ve been with us for three weeks now, and I love having you here. I really do. And we have a problem.
Amber: A problem?! What is it?
Camila: Not to worry. I know we can fix this. And we’re going to do it right now.
Amber: Okay, what’s it about?
Camila: I’ve noticed in our weekly check-in’s that when I ask about the number of calls you’ve made to possible major donors, the answer is zero. You haven’t made a single call to a major prospect and you’ve haven’t had a single meeting with a major prospect.
Amber: Yes, that’s true, but that’s because I’ve been so busy preparing PR materials to give to the prospects and helping out with the grant writing, I just haven’t had the time to make the calls. I promise I’ll get to it soon.
Camila: Every time I pass by your office, I see you hard at work, and I appreciate your diligence. I’ve also seen you working late, I’d say probably three nights a week I see you here till 6:30. And I appreciate how committed you are to our organization.
And there’s something else we need even more. What we need in the development director position is someone who will go out and ask major donors for money. Actually go out and ask.
Amber: I’m doing the best I can. There’s just so much to prepare. And I’m thinking that maybe getting more grants is the way to go. Major donors are so uncertain.
Camila: May I tell you what I’m seeing? I ask that because I’m seeing a big disconnect. And I’m thinking that you could be having a whole lot more satisfaction in this job and a whole lot more fun.
Amber: Disconnect? What do you mean by that? Yes, tell me.
Camila: On the one hand, I see you doing everything but asking for money. And you have an assistant who does a great job with the grant writing. We really have that down to a system. And we have materials coming out of our ears.
As I said in your job interview, our last two development directors, who we had to let go, stayed in the office and developed materials rather than going out and doing asks.
That’s on the one hand. On the other, you have an amazing talent for connecting with people. Everyone on the staff is so happy to have you here. You’re so quick at making friends with people.
I remember when you walked into the job interview, instead of us putting you at ease, you put us at ease. Last week when the staff all went out to lunch, I saw you make friends in the first five minutes with the host and two waiters. Then before we got our orders, you were in the back chatting with the owner like you were old friends.
Amber: Well, that’s just something I do.
Camila: Yes, and I love it. And that’s what I want you to do with the major donors.
Amber: I don’t know if I can.
Camila: Remember in the interview when you said you only had a year of experience as a development assistant?
Amber: Yes.
Camila: And what did I say?
Amber: You said you were glad that’s all the experience I had. I guess I don’t really understand why you said that.
Camila: That’s because I’m tired of hiring development directors who have years of experience on paper, but who sit in the office all the time preparing to ask.
But I also don’t want someone who does hardball fundraising either. The hard sell. I hate that. That’s not who this organization is.
I like it that you don’t have years of training and experience. I like that you’re you.
What I want is someone who has the spirit. Someone who connects with people from her heart. Someone who will just go out and make a relationship ignite and tell our story and see if it’s a match. No tricks, no strategies, just lots of heart.
In the interview, I decided that was you. And after three weeks of seeing how you relate to people, I still believe that’s you.
So here’s what I want to ask. What do you need in order to believe that’s you? What do you need in order to prove to yourself that you can connect with these major donors like you connect with everyone else?
Amber: Oh, God. I guess I just need to get out there and do it and either succeed or fail.
Camila: Here’s what I want you to do. I want you to fail.
Amber: What!?
Camila: Let’s get the prospect list. I’ll give you three names and you go out and talk to them about the organization and whatever you do, don’t come back with a check.
Amber: That’s crazy!
Camila: What will that give you?
Amber: No pressure.
Camila: Yes.
Amber: Okay, let’s do it right now. Let me make the calls right away before I get too scared. No money you said? Just get out there and get over myself?
Camila: Yes, get over yourself and find yourself both. And you want to know something else?
Amber: I guess.
Camila: I really want a partner. I actually like fundraising. But see, one thing I know about myself is that I do way better when I have company on an ask than when I go out on my own.
I gave you our B list of prospects. I want you to get your feet under you working with that group first. Then I’d like us to go out together to the really big deal people on my A list.
I think you and I could be a great team together. I think we could build a remarkable group of supporters around this organization.
I want to go play with fundraising, but I don’t have anybody to play with. I’m hoping that’s going to be you. What do you think?
Amber: Wow, I like that picture. I like it a lot. But I have to see if I can step into it. Let me go make my calls and get started.
Notice that Amber got pure advocacy from Camila. There wasn’t one word of judgment. Yes, there were a few hard facts in the beginning, but no judgment.
Cynthia and Tony
Next let’s take a look at discovering strengths to make possibilities ignite. In our country, when a problem or a challenge comes up, the first question is usually…
What should I do?
But it’s jumping the gun to immediately leap into action. A better first question is this one…
Who am I and what do I need?
That’s because you’re your own person with your own unique constellation of natural talents and core strengths.
And what you need may be very different from what someone else needs.
For example, both a shy person and an extrovert can be great fundraisers, but they’re each going to have to find their own approach designed around their own personal set of talents and strengths…
Cynthia told me, “I’m shy with people I don’t know well. So I’m a failure with major donors, because I’m no good at glad-handing and schmoozing.”
Instead of looking in the fundraising books for how-tos, we looked at her life. Just the facts. For example she said, “I have a circle of friends I’ve been close to for decades. Ever since college.”
And we looked at her leadership. Again the facts: “My staff and I go camping together with our families four times a year. A bunch of us take classes together during the week. We’ve all been here for years. It’s really rare that we have any turnover.
“It feels like family. I know that’s a cliché, but it’s really true for us. And I mean the happy version of family.”
So I asked her, “What if you started using your talent for intimacy and connection to bring your major donors into the family in some way? What if you did that instead of keeping them at arm’s length?”
She said, “Oh, I get it. I could do that. I really could do that!”
And she did. She deepened her relationship with her donors and was surprised at the size of the checks they started writing. And how much they liked staying in touch with her. And how willing they were to take her to meet their friends.
It was the opposite with Tony.
He told me, “I love people, but frankly talking one on one gets boring pretty fast. I don’t do it well.”
I went with him to a Chamber of Commerce mixer to watch him in action and give him feedback. We walked in the door, I turned to say something to him, but he waved at someone across the room and was gone. It cracked me up.
For two hours I watched him moving from group to group and wherever he went there were bright bursts of laughter.
Tony loves being the center of attention. He’s a great storyteller and people love to hear him talk. He thrives on the challenge of charming a bunch of different people all at the same time.
At the end of the evening, I told him what I had seen and asked him how he could turn his talent into fundraising.
He said, “I’d talk people into setting up house parties of 12-20 guests and then I’d show up and do my thing with them. Would that work?”
I said, “Why not run that experiment and find out?” So he did. Now he’s in his element and the checks are rolling in fast enough to keep him happy.
Carla
So we’re talking about personalized leadership. And why not? Why would we ever think that a single brand of leadership would be a match for everyone?
Carla called me and said, “I just got back from a workshop on team building and I realize I’m a total failure at this. Can you help me?”
I asked her a bunch of questions. I found out that Carla likes working independently. That’s when she’s at her best. She’s not a team player in the conventional sense.
And guess what? She had hired seven staff, all of whom have a talent for solo work. Everyone follows the game plan of the mission, but they do their own projects.
And what’s their work? They do assessments, evaluations, and reports for foundations and municipal governments. Their funders are happy with them. And they’re happy with each other.
When Carla was done answering my questions, she sighed a big sigh. “So what works for us works for us and that’s okay?”
“That’s what I’m seeing here.”
“And we’ve invented our own kind of team?”
“Yes.”
“And all I need to do is relax?”
“Yes, and enjoy what you’ve created.”
“I get it. Using the wrong how-to is like wearing someone else’s shoes, it’s like wearing someone else’s glasses, it’s like using someone else’s toothbrush, and yuck to that, unless it’s my sweetie’s.”
Jeffi
And one more example…
Jeffi went to a workshop on strategic planning. The trainer told her that if a plan was more than three years old, you had to start from scratch and do a complete formal process. And involve all the stakeholders. That’s the best practice, so that’s what you had to do, no exceptions.
Who makes up these rules?
When Jeffi called me her mood was so down it kind of took my breath away. She had been at her nonprofit for six months. She had gotten it back on its feet and they had momentum. But now she was freaked about having to put on the brakes and spend a year on strategic planning.
And I understood why. I knew the community she worked in. It was contentious and argumentative. A process involving all the stakeholders would have been a nightmare.
So I asked her if the organization already had any kind of strategic plan. She had never seen one, so she took her cell phone and, while we talked, went down into the basement, searched around, and dug out a plan that was five years old.
As she went through it, she decided that this ancient plan had a lot of life left in it. She saw she could just take each of the five key strategies to the next level, enhancing each one and bringing them up to date.
She, her staff, and her Board could do that in two hours, make it official, and they’d be cool. They’d have something accurate and inspiring for their funders, and something to show to the community if anyone ever asked.
She sounded like a different person when she finished the call. She told me as she signed off, “All gain with no pain. I like it!”
Bottom line and top possibility
When you’re managing staff…
Enforcement is always on the table.
If it isn’t then you’re opening the doors to a free-for-all. You’re saying there are no limits here so anything goes. We’ll tolerate any amount of bad behavior. We might struggle with you and argue with you and judge you, but we won’t actually stop you.
So enforcement is what I call…
The bottom line of supervision.
It’s essential for organizational health. You have to always be able to come back there as needed. As I said elsewhere, compassion might be unconditional, but employment is not. There is a basic contract involved that sets the conditions: We’re paying you to make a constructive difference for this mission and to do it as a responsible member of this team.
Now one of the things that’s neat about the advocacy approach to management is that you almost never have to come back down to the bottom line.
Instead you get to do what I call…
Top possibility of supervision.
Which means when you’re working with your staff you get to be…
A champion—You keep seeing what’s possible for her, especially when she forgets.
A witness—You go backstage with her. Not only do you see the results of her work, but you see who she had to be and what it took to get those results.
An ally—You stand with her when she’s on the edge of a breakthrough and so she stays the course when it would be so easy to give up.
An advocate—You’re on her side. And she can feel it in her bones.
Imagine having a supervisor who is all these things to you. Wouldn’t that make you reach for your best every day? And think about how satisfying it might be for you to be all these things to your staff.
